Friday, May 8, 2009

Wooden Sexual Novelty

I'm way behind in my reading. "American Lion", Jon Meacham's Pulitzer Prize-winning biography of Andrew Jackson, waits on a shelf at the Public Library. I remember a little about Jackson from history classes and recently refreshed my memory on Wikipedia, as follows: He earned a reputation and a nickname for toughness in the War of 1812. He was fiercely loyal to his wife and fought many duels over her honor.

Another thing I've learned, but few historians discuss, is that (in those days long before "latex novelties") Jackson whittled a hardwood device for his wife's pleasure. It sat unused in a drawer of her nightstand for many months, where it became dry and brittle. One night, at precisely one a.m., she tried it for the first time and got very painful splinters. Terribly embarrassed, she was forced to go to the ___ ___ ___ (3 words, no letter counts).

Andrew Jackson's nickname was "Old Hickory." His wife needed to see a doctor to remove the splinters she received "when the clock struck one." So, the answer is => she needed to see the "Hickory Dickory Doc."

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